


12x14 Coda We Need to Talk

by Piper_Halliwell1979



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angsty Dean, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Coda, Comforting Castiel, Dialogue Heavy, First Kiss, Frottage, Love Confessions, M/M, Post episode: s12e14, Sam talks to Mary, Season/Series 12, Self-Doubt, Talking, Telling friends and family, lotion as lube, start of a relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 05:30:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10074338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piper_Halliwell1979/pseuds/Piper_Halliwell1979
Summary: A lot of things need to be said after 12x14.





	

Mary should have ridden with Dean, to at least try to get him to talk. She took it as a small win that he called her  _ Mom _ again instead of Mary. Instead she decided to stay, help pick up the pieces. Sam did too. The BMOL weren't hunters. They had Intel and shiny toys but no experience on the ground.

 

They’d relied on Mr. Ketch for their dirty work. And then Mary. They would have been slaughtered by the vamps had it not been for Sam being there. It was exactly why they wanted the Winchesters. They wanted foot soldiers. 

 

“Mom?” Sam stood in the doorway of her bunk. “We need to talk.”

 

“I suppose we do.” She invited him to sit with her.

 

“Dean was right. He never had a childhood. And if it wasn’t for him I wouldn't have had much of one either. He...he was more my dad than John. He kept me fed, made sure I did well in school, signed my report cards and permission slips...he even took me to the dentist. Neither one of us needs a parent. We wanted  _ you.  _ Just you. To get to know you and be a family.”

 

Sam sighed and gathered his thoughts. “We thought you would hunt with us and we could learn things from you, teach you things we knew. But you left and Dean took it all on himself like he always does. He blamed himself for Amara bringing you back. He blamed himself for them kidnapping and torturing me, and believe me I'm not giving them a pass just because today worked out. They have a  _ lot  _ of trust to earn from me.” Sam dropped his eyes to the floor. “And you do to. The Colt...Cas...do you even realize what that would do to Dean?”

 

“That’s fair, Sam. I deserve that. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know who we were dealing with. I didn’t mean for Castiel to get hurt. It was supposed to be a milk run. I can't say enough how sorry I am. It broke my heart seeing Castiel lying there. He’s one of you, one of my boys.”

 

Sam had to laugh, dryly, but still. “Cas is...well he’s my brother. I love him. I’d die for him the same as for you or Dean. Over time he went from being  _ Dean’s _ angel to my friend to...you know. He’s a Winchester.”

 

“Dean's angel?” Mary had heard snippets of how Castiel had come into their lives.

 

“Cas is the one who went to hell to save Dean. He watched over him, rebelled against heaven for him, fell from heaven for him. He says they have a profound bond and I see it. They fight like an old married couple sometimes but when it comes down to it they put themselves on the line for each other. I think...I think they might be soulmates as crazy as that sounds.”

 

Mary rubbed his back. “It’s not crazy. I see it, too. They have something special. Maybe it's love or maybe it's because Dean needed an older brother to take care of him. It doesn't matter as long as they're happy.”

 

“Kind of how I feel about it too.” Sam draped his large frame over his mother in a hug. “I just want my family together.”

 

Mary hugged back. “We’re working on it, Sam.”

 

***

 

Dean had intended to just go home but his gut told him the last thing he needed was an empty bunker. Sam hung back with their mother and Cas was...where the hell was Cas? He pulled out his phone and thumbed over his short list of contacts. It only rang twice before Cas picked up.

 

“Hello Dean.”

 

“Hey Cas. You busy?”

 

“Not at the moment. I’m at a diner in Michigan. The coffee is...fair.”

 

“I’m a couple hours away. So...any cute waitresses?” Dean smiled. 

 

“A rather attractive man named Vince gave me his number.”

 

“Well if that's your thing…”

 

“I was polite but I won't call. Casual sex doesn't exactly end well for me.” Dean could hear his small huff of a laugh. He could picture the smile and the crinkles around blue eyes.

 

“I kind of got propositioned tonight, too. Ketch showed up at the bunker.”

 

“From the British Men of Letters?”

 

“One in the same. Brought me some top shelf liquor, said we had the same inclinations which I took to be a pass at me. Then he took me to a seedy hotel-”

 

“Dean, please tell me you didn’t have sex with that man.” Cas interrupted.

 

“Jeez. Jump to conclusions, much? I was going to say he took me to a vampire nest to clear out. Only found one stray, though. The rest went after the Men of Letters compound. Mom and Sam were there.”

 

“Are they…?

 

“They’re fine. Sam took out the Alpha Vamp.”

 

“How?”

 

Dean ground his jaw. “The Colt. Apparently that's what Ramiel was talking about. Mom boosted it while we were getting our asses kicked. It's what those bastards sent her after. She almost…”

 

“But I didn't. I wish she had been honest with us. It wouldn't have changed the outcome. I was still dying and Ramiel would do nothing to spare me had she given it back. He would not have spared the rest of you either.”

 

“You're going to forgive her for that?”

 

“I will. She's family. She's...I never had a mother, Dean. She's been maternal toward me, even when she scolded me for you and Sam being taken.”

 

“She scolded you? Haha! She scolded me too for giving her ‘the face’. Listen, just get a motel room near the diner and I'll meet you there. I don't want to be alone tonight. Unless you changed your mind about the waiter.”

 

“No, Dean. I will be alone when you get here. I’ll see you soon.”

 

Dean hung up. He popped in an AC/DC cassette and cranked it up. He’d be with Cas in a little while.

 

***

 

Cas laid back on the single bed. He'd kicked off his shoes and shucked his trenchcoat and suit coat. His tie draped with them over the wobbly desk chair.  He flipped through channels on the flat screen and eventually settled on Animal Planet. It was mostly background noise until Dean arrived.

 

“It’s open,” he called after hearing a knock. Dean came in carrying a six pack of cold beer and a paper sack with grease stains near the bottom of it. 

 

“Chili cheeseburger?” He offered. 

 

Cas waved it off. “I’ll take a beer, though.”

 

“My man.” Dean twisted the cap and handed it over. He plopped down at the small table and went about devouring his messy drive-thru dinner. He washed it down with two of the beers before scooting Cas over on the bed. 

 

“Thanks for letting me crash with you tonight. It just felt wrong to go home and have nobody be there. Feels kind of alone when they are there lately.”

 

“I apologize, Dean. I should have stayed longer to recover, if not for my sake then for your peace of mind. You worry.”

 

Dean shrugged. He had to give him that. “I do worry. It's my job to worry. About you, about Sam, about Mom. Hell, I worry about Jody and the kids. It's all I ever do. I can't help it.”

 

Cas placed a comforting hand on Dean's shoulder. “Then let me help you. I want to take care of my family. I’ve been trying to deal with the biggest threat to us and it isn't enough.”

 

“Cas, no. Do I want you to spend more time at home? Of course I do. But I get it. I know how important this is and I wish we weren't so caught up in the family drama to help  _ you. _ I don't know, man. I think we're all stretched way too thin.”

 

Dean got up and grabbed them a couple more beers. It seemed like Cas was the only one he could talk to who listened, who didn't have an agenda to push. Even Sam.  _ Forgive Mom. Talk to Mom. Listen to Mom. _ He settled back on the bed. “We haven't talked like this in awhile.”

 

“I know. I wanted to give you some space. What I said...I meant.” Cas looked away from Dean. He always avoided eye contact when he had something difficult to say.”

 

Dean shifted. He knew this conversation was going to happen eventually. “Talk about a gut shot.” He swung his legs over and sat with his back to Cas. “All this crap I thought I knew about angels...isn't that like a cardinal sin to you guys? Loving humans more than the ‘because Dad said so’ way? Your friend Benjamin loved his host. He got taken out. Akobel loved Lily Sunder and he got smited. When you said you loved me and Sam, I was terrified they were gonna come down and kill you anyway.”

 

“Dean, I left the Host a long time ago. I made my choice then to stay here, among humans. To make this my home. I’m an outcast. Whom I love is no longer their concern unless I bring forth a nephilim.”

 

Dean nodded. He didn't see Cas knocking anybody up. Even if he did meet someone Dean had already gone over protection and how to use it even if she says she's got it covered. He’d had two condoms break in his sexual lifetime. Ben and Emma. And Cas didn't seem to mind the waiter flirting with him.

 

“So tell me about your hot waiter. I mean, was he hot?”

 

Cas broke a smile. “He was handsome. Young, too young for me. But he had eyes like yours. Not quite as bright green.”

 

“I know you had that thing with Meg and there was the wife but, are you into dudes? I don't care if you are.”

 

“Gender is irrelevant to me. I see souls and then the aesthetics of bodies. I thought you were beautiful before I ever saw your true form.”

 

Dean blushed. “Change your mind after you saw the meat suit?” He tried to joke with a little self depreciation. He was ready to settle back next to Cas if they were having more light-hearted conversation.

 

“Actually, I find your ‘meat suit’ quite attractive. I must admit I felt a pang of jealousy when I thought you may have slept with Ketch.”

 

_ Okay, not so light-hearted. You're killing me, Cas. _ “I wouldn't do that. That's literally sleeping with the enemy. And he’s a total dick! Arrogant, hot-headed…”

 

“And a man?” Cas ventured.

 

Dean rolled his head toward Cas. “Doesn't matter to me, either. But don't you  _ dare _ tell Sam.  _ If _ or when he finds out is on my terms, capishe?”

 

“Yes, Dean. I capishe.” He mused over the admission. “You’ve turned to me for comfort before. How come we never...never became lovers?”

 

“Never thought you thought of me that way. And I wouldn’t just use you for sex. All these one night stands...it's supposed to be about having a good time, feeling good without all the feelings. Stress relief. Blowing off steam. I couldn't do that to you. You’re better than that.”

 

“And yet you encouraged me to do the same. How is that better?”

 

“Because it's your choice and on your terms. If I made a move I’d be afraid you’d let me out of some kind of obligation.”

 

“I’m under no obligation to love you and yet I do. I would have been receptive to your advances. But I resigned myself to being your brother, your friend.”

 

Dean’s stomach flipped and it wasn't from the chili cheeseburger he wolfed down earlier. He started feeling anxious. “I thought...I thought that's how you meant you loved me. Like family. Is it more than that?”

 

Now Cas was feeling uneasy. He’d ventured into this topic. He should have been more prepared to discuss it. “Do you really want to hear my answer?”

 

Unexpectedly Dean reached over for his hand. He scooted closer to the angel. His other hand gently cupped Cas’ jaw to make him look Dean in the eyes. “I do.”

 

Tears welled up. “I’m in love with you. I understand if that makes you uncomfortable.”

 

Dean pulled him into a tight embrace. He buried his face in Cas’ shoulder. So many things ran through his mind. It's not like he didn’t want Cas. Cas was perfect for him. They’d already been together through everything that split couples apart. The hunting community didn't care about same sex relationships. So why couldn't he just tell Cas that?

 

“I don’t want you to hate me,” he finally said in a quiet voice. 

 

“I won't hate you for not wanting the same thing,” Cas told him. 

 

Dean pulled back. “It’s not...It’s not that I don't want it. It's that I can't have it. Every time I get close to what I want, to being happy, something bad happens. I couldn't live with that.”

 

Cas caressed his face and pressed their foreheads together. “I have been alive since before the stars were born. I have loved only once in all that time and it is you, Dean Winchester. I could die happy tomorrow if I was yours, truly yours for one night.”

 

“Don’t say that, Cas. I’m not worth it.”

 

“You are to me.”

 

He didn't know who moved first, him or Cas, but warm lips pressed together and Dean choked back a sob. It should have felt awkward and wrong but it was safe and comfort and  _ home _ . Everything Dean and Cas scrapped and fought for up to this point. Dean felt the tension unwind from his shoulders as he pushed forward for more.

 

_ I am Dean's and he is mine. Please, Father, let this be more than one night. _ Cas prayed as he opened up to let Dean deepen their kiss. He felt Dean's tongue swipe over his and couldn't help his moan. Instinct took over and he pushed Dean to his back, lowering himself onto him. 

 

“Cas, Cas, wait. Stop for a second,” Dean panted. “We do this, there's no going back to the way things were.”

 

Cas took Dean's hand and brought it to the bulge in his trousers. “I’ve thought about this for a long,  _ long _ time. I want you, Dean. I don't want to go back.” He brought their mouths together and rutted into Dean's palm.

 

“Damnit,” Dean broke away again. “I don’t have any stuff. No lube, no condoms. Do you?”

 

Cas sighed and shook his head. “No. I was not expecting intimacy.” 

 

Dean actually giggled. “Neither was I. But there's other ways to be intimate. You got any lotion in the bathroom? Those little freebies?”

 

“I believe so, why?” 

 

“Go get then take off your pants. You’ll see.”

 

Cas grumbled his frustration but read the small bottles on the counter to find the body lotion. When he turned back around, Dean had already undressed himself and was laying nude on the bed. Cas tossed him the lotion and quickly stripped himself as well. He returned to his position and relished the feel of Dean's hot skin against his.

 

Dean squeezed some of the lotion into his palm and reached between them. He coated each shaft before bringing them together in his fist. “Just rock, Cas. I’ve got you.” He latched on to the angel's shoulder and started sucking a bruise. Cas rolled his hips.

 

He was surrounded by heat and wonderful friction. He could feel the throb of Dean's member pressed to his. Dean thumbed over his full and swollen head. He felt something build low inside him that he recognized as impending climax. “Feels so good, Dean. Already close.”

 

“Me too, angel. Been a long time since I've done this.”

 

“Been with a man?” Cas gritted his teeth and tried to fight back the inevitable. He wanted it to last longer.

 

“Been with anyone. Oh, Cas, I'm almost there. Come with me, babe.” He squeezed them both just a little tighter and twisted his wrist. It was enough to send semen spurting from each of them, covering Dean's hand and spotting their stomachs. Cas pressed a tender kiss to Dean's forehead to clean them with his grace.

 

“Dean, that was incredible.” Cas flopped on his back next to his spent lover. “Definitely in my top two.” He cracked a smile.

 

Dean swatted at him. “Shut up.” He rolled to his side. “Guess this is it, then. You're stuck with me.” He stroked Cas’ chest. 

 

Cas covered the hand with his own. “Are we telling them? Sam and Mary?”

 

“Would it be okay to keep this just between us for a little while? It's not a dirty secret or anything. It's just probably not going to be anytime soon that the four of us are all together and we should do it in person.”

 

“I understand, Dean. And I kind of like the idea of a secret romance for now.”

 

“Yeah? You're awesome. I will need to text Sam and tell him I'm up here with you so he doesn't send out the assclowns to look for us. Getting the door kicked in kind of kills the mood.”

 

“Alright. I am going to get dressed and walk over to the diner. This calls for pie.”

 

Dean reached for his pants to get his phone. “Pie after sex? You are perfect.”

 

***

 

Nearly a month later Dean decided to host a little slumber party of sorts. He made homemade pizzas, mini quiches, pigs in a blanket...snack food galore. There was two cases of beer in the fridge and one case of wine. Sam, Mary, and Cas were already there with him and Jody should be there with the girls soon. 

 

As soon as his guests were settled and comfortable in loungewear, he pulled out his collection of Star Wars Blu-ray discs. Cas had built them a nest of blankets and pillows on the floor so before he took his place by his...okay  _ boyfriend _ , he needed to make a little announcement.

  
“Guys, we need to talk.”


End file.
